


I'm Just Tryin' to Say I Miss You - a Jamie Outtake

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Hot Chelle Rae
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 04:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>But that’s not what she remembers most from that day.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>It was sitting on the stool behind Jamie’s drums and playfully banging those silly sticks around.  Until…he was right behind her whispering at her ‘no, like this, duh’ and he put his hands over hers, showing her how to hold the sticks right, and she’d turned around to ask him ‘like this’ and she could feel the smile fall off her face because he was right there.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Up close you could see how blue his eyes were and subconsciously, she tilted her chin out.  She could see his eyes and when they looked down at her lips, she held her breath.  His hands were still over hers, warm and gentle, and she leaned further back, more into his chest, just slightly.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>And then Nash had walked in, coughing.</i></p><p> </p><p>(oh, Nash. - J)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Just Tryin' to Say I Miss You - a Jamie Outtake

**Author's Note:**

> So, basically, we ship Jamily, or Jamie/Emily Osment. Not really sure if anyone else sees that, but we adore her, and Jamie obv, and after Ian took this picture: 
> 
> Ryan RT'd it and Emily replied thusly:
> 
> @EmilyOsment: @RyanKFollese Dude, Jamie is a STUD.
> 
> @RyanKFollese: @EmilyOsment Right?? I am embarrassed to be near him....
> 
> @Jamiefollese: @EmilyOsment @RyanKFollese whutt
> 
> @RyanKFollese: @Jamiefollese you know.... read close jamiesan
> 
> We were all, god wouldn't they be CUTE together?! And thus, a ship is born. But other than throwing their names together in passing while writing Rash Follestreet fic, we hadn't expressly written Jamie and Emily together. YET.
> 
> Until J was having a bad day last Friday (and so was H if we're honest, which we mostly are, because the HCR concert she was to attend had been canceled ://////), so H just started typing up the beginning of this in a chat box to make J smile, and then, more writing happened, and some more, and also copious amounts of wine, and before we knew it, she'd written about 8K words' worth of Jamily over the last few days. You're welcome, fandom. ;)
> 
> Also, we want to give a nod to our buddy whyaremyclothesoutonthestreet on tumblr, who is a lovely person and HUGE Jamie Follese fan. <3
> 
> We hope y'all like it!

So, yeah, Jamie can see things when they're right in front of his face...well, he can see them better now that he got his hair cut, but as much razzing as he gets about Em from the guys...yeah, he just doesn't think about her like that...or he doesn't THINK he does…or maybe he just doesn’t let himself think like that. So, when he rests his forehead on the palm of his hand and looks down at the text message that doesn't say anything except three words, he feels his heart flip-flop over and over in his chest. It just says: I miss you.

Jokingly, he sends a message back that says: Miss you, too, boo.

***

Emily reaches across the bed in her dorm room, tilting her glasses up to rest on her head, and she looks at the message from Jamie. She wonders if he will ever figure it out. She blows out a breath and sticks her pencil behind her ear. Biting her lip, she thinks carefully about what she wants to say. 

It’s just that they’ve known each other forever and everything. And Jamie always does that dumb shit where he says she’s too smart for him, which is really stupid. People don’t have to be the same amount of smart to be dating or in love or whatever it is that makes her stomach do back flips like those crazy gymnast girls she’s watching on the Olympics every single day. Plus, she likes to tell Jamie that he’s just a different kind of smart. He knows exactly where to bang on those drums to make the hair stand up on her arms every single time. 

Once, only that one time, she’d sat down on his stool behind the drum set. They’d been messing around that day, all day long. At one point, he’d tossed her over his shoulders and ran off with her while Ryan had chased after and she’d laughed and laughed. _Those Follese boys are funny_ , she thinks.

But that’s not what she remembers most from that day. 

It was sitting on the stool behind Jamie’s drums and playfully banging those silly sticks around. Until…he was right behind her whispering at her ‘no, like this, duh’ and he put his hands over hers, showing her how to hold the sticks right, and she’d turned around to ask him ‘like this’ and she could feel the smile fall off her face because he was right there. 

Up close you could see how blue his eyes were and subconsciously, she tilted her chin out. She could see his eyes and when they looked down at her lips, she held her breath. His hands were still over hers, warm and gentle, and she leaned further back, more into his chest, just slightly. 

And then Nash had walked in, coughing. 

They’d both coughed, too, and looked away, laughed it off and hadn’t said a word about it since.

Which is absolutely stupid, Emily thinks. And so, she takes a deep breath, and sends the message that she’s been wanting to send for weeks. 

***

The message comes in and Jamie looks at the screen and coughs out a laugh. It’s more like I can’t fucking believe she just said that and less omg that’s funny. 

SMS from Emmmms: When’s my next drum lesson? Come back to Cali.

He sends a message back to her without thinking because his heart is about to hammer right out of his chest and hits send, dropping the phone on the counter in front of him. Groaning, Jamie buries his head in his crossed arms on the table top. 

SMS to Emmmmms: Because the beach is empty and the sky is grey?

It’s barely two seconds before his phone buzzes again and he can’t look. Not yet, he can’t. 

“Hey man, you gonna get that?” Ian asks.

“No,” Jamie answers, voice muffled by the fact he’s speaking into his arms.

“What?”

“I said, no.”

“Why not?” 

Jamie looks up at Ian who is now leaning against the counter, eating a tortilla that Jamie knows has peanut butter, honey, and banana on it. 

“How can you even talk with that shit in your mouth?”

“Not wewwy weww.”

“Not really well?”

Ian nods and Jamie rolls his eyes. Waiting for Ian to take a drink of milk, Jamie picks up his phone.

“Who’s the message from?”

“Emily,” Jamie answers.

He can tell Ian this stuff. And it’s not that he can’t talk to Ryan about it because he can. He can talk to Ryan about pretty much anything under the sun and he knows his brother won’t laugh about any of it.

It’s just that he always thought that Emily had a thing for RK. Always. Like ALWAYS, his brain emphasizes. 

Ian dusts his hands off on his jeans and then holds out one, palm up. 

“I’ll read it.”

Jamie nods, blowing out a breath making his bangs fly up away from his face momentarily only to land back down in front of his eyes again. 

Ian slides his thumb across the screen and brings up the message and a slow smile slides across his face. Looking up, Ian nods.

“Pretty sure you might wanna see this for yourself, little dude.”

Jamie nods back and Ian turns the screen to face him. 

SMS from Emmmms: Actually two things: 1. Life sucks since you been gone. AND 2. I’m just trying to say I miss you… I miss you.

Instead of messaging, he just whispers thanks to Ian, and walks off with his phone to the back lounge, and closes and locks the door.

Pressing the call button he waits three rings before she picks up with a soft, “Hey, you.”

Flopping down on the couch on his back, Jamie just smiles. “Hey, yourself. Am I bugging you?”

“You? Never.”

Taking a huge breath, Jamie lets it out again and says what he wants to say. “I was calling about the drum lessons.”

“Yeah?”

“When do you wanna start ‘em?”

“Now,” Emily replies. “Now would be really good.”

Jamie smiles into the phone and begins. “Well, you gotta pretend you’re sitting on the stool with me behind you…”

“That’s easy,” she replies. “I think about that every time I close my eyes.”

***

They talk every single day. Even if it’s just a quick goodnight before she falls face first into her bed or while she stands out in the hallway so she doesn’t bother her roomie at three a.m. when he finally winds down enough to be able to sleep. 

He always calls or texts or _something_. 

“Is it gonna be weird?”

Emily stops and thinks about it. Dropping her chin to her chest, she props her foot on the wall behind, and taps out a rhythm on her thigh.

“Seeing each other again?”

“Yeah,” he says immediately, almost before she can get the question out of her mouth.

They’ve talked about everything, just everything and she knows, because he told her, that he thought she liked Ryan and he’s scared about that… that she will see Ryan and it’ll be like some lightning bolt.

Again, she thinks he’s being dumb.

“No,” she softens her voice to a whisper. “I kinda can’t wait.”

“Everyone’s gonna be there,” he says, almost whining.

“Jamie, I don’t care if the President is gonna be there.”

She can hear him breathing on the other end of the phone and the sides of her mouth tip up with a soft smile that if he were standing there..he’d know it was meant for just him.

“Follese, talk to me.”

“I just –“

“I miss you, too.”

“Okay, okay,” he replies. “I miss you, too. See you tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Get some sleep, Em. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Deal.”

They hang up, and Emily presses her hand against her stomach, and leans her head back against the brick. She taps her fingers in time with the flap of the butterflies wings in her belly. 

_Jamie_.

Tomorrow.

Yeah, she won’t be able to sleep tonight.

***

Jamie waits outside of the bus. Everyone had stumbled down the steps on their way to Starbucks and parts unknown. 

He hadn’t said anything to anyone about this morning. 

Just in case, he thinks. Just in case she’s late or there’s a monsoon or they need a fucking ark or whatever to go and pick her up. What? It could happen. 

So, he’s pacing back and forth when Ryan walks up and at first Jamie doesn’t even see him until he runs into Ryan’s chest.

“Shit, sorry, bro.” Jamie says automatically and then freezes. “I thought you were going shopping or something.”

“I forgot my bag,” Ryan replies, looking Jamie over and narrowing his eyes. “What’re you up to today, Jamiesan?”

“Nothing,” Jamie spits out, quickly. “I mean, I was just gonna hang out here.”

“Ohhhkay.” And then Ryan steps up, putting his hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “You okay? You been kinda quiet lately. I can stay here with you if you want.”

“Nope, bro, I’m good,” Jamie replies, smiling up at Ryan. 

“JAMIE!”

He turns and there’s a streak of blonde hair barreling towards him and then there she is hurtling into his arms at a hundred miles an hour. His arms come up and around – one at her waist, holding her close, the other cradling the back of her head – and he forgets everything and everyone around them when she whispers into his ear ‘hey, you.’

Loosening his hold on her, she slides back down until the tips of her chucks are overlapping the toes of his boots. She’s so tiny, so small, he thinks. He bends down and then suddenly remembers Ryan. Jamie turns and looks over his shoulder the same time Emily looks around the side of Jamie’s shoulder. Ryan holds up his hands, grins, and points towards the bus.

“I’mma git my bag. See you guys later.”

Trey follows Ryan on the bus and Jamie waits until they’re both gone off the bus, contenting himself to look at her face, and when he can hear the car drive away and know that they’re the only ones standing there outside or inside the bus or wherever or whatever, he finally brings his hands up to her face.

Her hands are at the front of his shirt pulling while she stands on her tip toes. It’s their first kiss, he thinks just before their lips brush together and then he can’t think at all because her hands are up in his hair making him shiver when she touches the soft hair at the back of his neck.

They turn this way and that to open up and his hands drift down so he can pull her close, hands on her waist. And then in the middle of it, everything is funny. It’s still Emily who just pinched his ass and giggled into his mouth. 

“Gawd, git your hands offa my ass, woman.”

“There’s an ass back there? Wouldn’t know it by those pants, Jamie.”

You’d think he’d have gotten used to her saying his name that way or any old way just like that ordinary word like it wouldn’t have meaning but when she says his name, his heart flutters just a bit. 

“Not everyone in Hot Chelle Rae is into the skinny pants.”

“Mmmm,” Emily replies, rubbing her lips together. 

He pulls back, grabbing at her hands, trying to walk backwards, but Emily digs her heels in.

“Buuuussss,” he says dragging out the word into three long syllables.

“Nope,” she replies, pulling his arm and marching back the other direction. 

“Why?”

She looks over her shoulder and Jamie just about can’t stand it. She doesn’t have a damn bit of make-up on, she’s wearing a UCLA ball cap, and anyone else might not be able to pull it off. And when she grins at him, Jamie just about trips.

Yeah, over your own heart, he thinks.

“I want my drum lessons,” Emily says, winking.

***

She gives in because who wouldn’t? Who could say no to that face? Well, Emily thought Adrienne might’ve but that’s only ‘cause Adrienne was his momma...and that’d be the only reason ever to say no to Jamie Follese, in her humble opinion. 

She follows him onto the bus because any time alone with Jamie right now is worth it. He’s showing her around, pointing out this and that like it’s her first time on the bus, like she’s never been there, and she lets him because she knows he’s nervous...and truth be told, she is just a little bit, too. 

“...the show starts at seven and you can hang with Maggie or Trey or whoever, if that’s okay. Is that okay?”

She’d dragged her bag onto the bus and had dumped it somewhere back there and it just really doesn’t matter. 

“That sounds great,” she says, tugging on his hand. 

She remembers a conversation that they’d had awhile back - three days or more, which is now a while in their little world - and he said he wasn’t sure what normal people did on dates and it’s nine o’clock in the morning and they had the whole day ahead. 

“Movie? Video games?”

She’s got an idea. 

“Do you trust me?” she asks, looking up into his face. 

Emily almost laughs at the look on his face when his eyebrows furrow and eyes go wide. He only nods and she walks around, pulling down the black out shades, turning on the lights that make the floor glow underneath everything, and walks over to the sound system. She knows what music he likes just like any other fangurl in the world would: She’s trolled the shit outta his twitter. She finds his ipod from the pile of players littered over the top of the speakers and plugs it in, thumbing her way through the songs, and hits play and then repeat. 

[[Ed Sheeran - Lego House](http://youtu.be/c4BLVznuWnU)] (this is the official video, featuring the lovely Rupert Grint, our very own Ron Weasley, but y'all should feel free to check out the [acoustic video](http://youtu.be/ZlGPTwNRYtU), because if you'll say no to more Teddy, you probably don't like us, either. ;lasjdf;ldjksf;laj)

Ed Sheeran’s voice comes flowing out of the speakers and Emily turns, taking off her hat and tossing it to the side. She strolls those four steps over to him, just holding out her hand. He takes it and she just looks down at their hands, together. Finally. 

He must pick up on what she wants because his arm slides around her waist and he pulls her close again. 

“What’s this?” he asks, pulling her hand up to his chest, holding it close and she looks up at him. 

“Your first school dance,” she whispers, and kisses him again because his lips are that close and because she’s dreamed about it. 

He ducks his head and his hair is all the hell over the place and she reaches up, reaches out, brushing it back. “C’mon, Follese, dance with me.”

“I don’t dance.”

“Just this once?”

“I’d be the guy sitting in the fold out chairs against the wall watching you dance with the captain of the football team.”

She ducks her head, so she can look at him in the eye. “Then I’d be sittin’ with you, holding your hand like I am now.”

“Sure.”

“Shut up, I would.”

“ _Okay_.”

“Okay, you don’t believe me?”

He shuffles to a stop and for the first time since this whole little scene began, he looks down at her. Really looking at her. 

“I want to.”

Emily steps out of his arms, ducking her head, and props a hand on her hip. And then, then, she lifts her head, sticking her chin out. 

“You, Jamie Follese, were wearing a blue checked shirt the first day we met. I thought you had pretty eyes and an amazing laugh. I watched while you guys were practicing and you smiled up at Ryan because he was being stupid and laughed at him and that stupid thing that goes on in your belly when you like someone? You know that feeling?”

“Em,” Jamie whispers. 

“Yeah, so don’t say I wouldn’t sit by you at your dance....because I would.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, ducking his head further down and she feels terrible. Hurting Jamie is like kicking a puppy, she thinks. 

“God, so am I,” she whispers back. “I was just so stoked to be here with you today and I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m tired as hell -”

“Em,” he says, interrupting. “Stop.”

Then, he’s grabbing her up again, close, and she can feel him breathing hard against her ear, and his chest is heaving up and down, and she knows to shut up, just to keep quiet while she pets her palm down the back of his hair over and over again. 

[[Colbie Caillat - Realize](http://youtu.be/GlZxZ2n2zpw)]

Something happened because Colbie Caillat is playing and she must’ve not hit repeat and it’s kinda perfect. She sings quietly into his ear - _we’d never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now_ \- still running her hands down his hair, to his neck, onto his shoulders. How did everyone miss this? Miss him? Was it because he was back there? Because he wasn’t in the spotlight, not that he’d be comfy there, it’s just he shines for her no matter where he is. 

She stands on the toes of his boots again and they’re all arms and hearts and it feels amazing. I dreamed about being here, she thinks. Every time they’d talk, she’d feel that way when they said good-bye. 

“How about a nap?”

“Sure,” he whispers back. 

And he walks her over to his bunk and they look at each other. Jamie climbs up first, and arranges himself, and she climbs up behind. She moves around, closing the curtains, and scoots close with her back to him. 

“Tired,” he whispers. 

She reaches back because she knows he’s being a gentleman and because his momma raised him right, but she grabs for his hand because she doesn’t care a whit. Jamie is what she wants. So, she reaches back for his hand, pulling it around, and rests it on her own belly, with her hand on top. 

When she feels his mouth on the side of her neck, just a quick brush of his lips, she shivers. “Sweet dreams,” he whispers. 

She drifts off to sleep later thinking that Jamie may be quiet about his love, but being like that...well, it’s louder than the biggest billboard in the world. It moves mountains, Emily thinks. 

***

Jamie wakes up sweaty and there’s like zero air moving in there behind the curtain. And Emily’s turned in her sleep, her hair falling, spread out on his pillow that he sleeps on every night. He can hear Eminem and then Rihanna on the stereo and god he doesn’t know if anyone else is on the bus, but the closed curtain is like a brick wall against the world outside. His hair is sticking to his forehead, but his arm is still around her. He groans when she moves in her sleep, close in that small space where he dreams about her, not that he’d share those dreams with her because they aren’t exactly g-rated or anything but god..... He moves back, close to the wall, hugging it. 

She hums at the back of her throat and he can hear it, feel it in the middle of his chest and he pulls his hand back fisting it against his stomach. Her eyes blink open, all blue, unlined with anything and she reaches out touching his hot cheek. 

“Jamie...mmm,” she says. 

And when she stretches into her yawn, he loosens his fist and puts his hand on her waist, spreading his fingers against the pink tee and then where it rides up touching the skin there with his pinky finger. 

“Hi,” he croaks out, his voice froggy yet from sleep. 

“Thought I was dreaming,” she whispers. 

She burrows close to him, under his chin, and he sighs. “That you were bunking on the HCR bus on tour?”

“No,” she replies, her mouth right over his heart, and he holds his breath, pressing his lips together. “Being with you.”

Jamie can’t ever figure out how she does that, just says whatever is in her head and it spills out. His hands trail up her small spine to the back of her head, burying his hand in her hair, and he holds her close. 

There’s a knock on the frame of his bed and Jamie barks out a quick “What?”

Ryan peeks in through the curtains. 

“Sorry, man, we got sound check in twenty. Thought you might wanna know.”

“Yeah, be right there.”

Ryan nods and then winks. “Take your time.”

“Get outta here, dick,” Jamie smiles, reaching to close the curtain in Ryan’s face. “Fuck, sorry.”

She’s giggling against his chest and he can’t help but smile too. 

“S’okay, I gotta get ready anyway.”

He looks down at her when she looks up at him and he tucks her hair behind her ear. “You look fine like this.”

“Yeah, well, I gotta pretty myself up for my guy. We’ve got a date tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Anyone I know?”

She smiles and scoots up further, leaning on her elbow, and this time she brushes the hair back from his forehead. 

“You might. He’s kind of a big deal drummer in this band.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“Naw,” Emily whispers. “He’s kinda great.”

“He better be, if you’re gonna be dating him and stuff.”

“He is.”

“Shower’s free, Jamiesan,” Ian hollers. 

“Be right out!”

He leans up and kisses her because he’s really got to get in the shower before Nash uses up every bit of fucking hot water because that dick totally would do that right now just to rattle Jamie’s cage. 

“I gotta go.”

“Then, git, Follese.”

“It’s gonna be crazy, but -”

“I’ll find Maggie and hang with her.”

“Okay, okay,” he kisses her again and she’s laughing against his mouth. 

“Go, go, Jamie.” 

She’s shoving at his ass when he crawls over and out the curtain and down the ladder. He hits the bottom rung and climbs back up. 

“Kiss. For luck.”

She laughs, leans over, and gives him a loud kiss sealed with a ‘MWAH’ and he laughs, too. 

Yeah, this being whatever with Emily is gonna be hella awesome, he thinks as he grabs his towel racing Nash to the shower, elbowing him outta the way at the last minute. 

Hell yeah, it is. 

***

She’s standing off to the right of the stage beside Maggie, bopping hips together every now and again, singing at the top of her lungs, when the boys take the mid set break. Emily hustles out of the way when Ian stalks towards Maggie, grabbing her around the waist and spinning. 

Holding her hands up under her chin, she smiles wide at them. 

“They’re a little disgusting,” Jamie says in her ear and she laughs, looking over her shoulder at him. 

“I think it’s cute.”

“It is until you’ve seen Ian pining away and wearing the same shirt for six days in a row and he won’t shower because he’s so miserable.”

She throws her head back and laughs. 

“There’s not a romantic bone in your body, is there?”

When he raises his left eyebrow, dips his chin, and levels a ‘look’ at her, she rolls her eyes. 

“Not what I meant. God, Follese, keep it in your shorts.”

He laughs this time and she just looks up at him because Jamie’s smile is now what makes everything in the world worth whatever. She wants to make him smile all of the time. 

“You’re doing great out there.”

“Oh, wow, um....thanks,” he replies, ducking his head. 

She watches as he fishes his phone of his pocket, types something with his fingers going lightning speed, and then holds it up, screen out, so she can see. 

“.@EmilyOsment #midsetyoureamazing You’re the best, Beezy.”

“Maggie,” Emily hollers behind them without even looking, staring up into Jamie’s face, and then fishes her own phone out of her pocket. Finally, she tears her eyes away from Jamie’s, handing her phone to Maggie. “Take a picture of us?”

Maggie nods, smiling. 

Emily steps back towards Jamie, crowding into his space and pulls him down for a kiss. She can see the flash out of the corner of her eye before her eyes close shut. 

This is her guy. The guy who bangs the conga drums and she can’t get enough of him always....he’s so fucking cute....and he’s hers. 

She does that thing where she rubs her lips together because she wants to remember that feeling of being inside of his arms - those friggin arms - before she steps back and says thanks to Maggie. 

Looking at the picture, she almost forgets her plan of what she was going to do, but she breathes out, and thumbs out a message too. 

“.@jamiefollese - #midsetyourehawt My boyfrand, bishes. #bejealous” 

There’s a link to the picture and it shows up when she clicks on it and she turns to Jamie holding out the picture. She watches the color fill up his cheeks and even under the guise of darkness of the backstage, she can see it. 

“Too much?”

His eyes zip over to hers right away and he shakes his head.

“No.”

And then Ryan’s starting up another song and she knows Jamie needs to get back out there. So, she steps up again to kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him again. She needs another one just because she’s gotta make do until he climbs back offa that stool again. 

It surprises her only a little when he grabs the back of her head, stopping her from moving away, and whispers against her lips. 

“Drum lessons, tomorrow.”

“You’re on,” she whispers, tilting her chin up to kiss him again. 

“Bishes,” he chuckles. “Only you, Ems.”

“Hey, my guy is hawt. Everyone should be jealous.”

“Shut up,” he says, back away from her.

And when he sits back down on the stool, he twirls those sticks in his hands, and looks over at her grinning. 

***

She’s not the only one with ideas, Jamie thinks. He waves Ryan over and his brother, bless his fucking heart, grins and nods. Jamie watches as he pulls Nash and Eman over, telling them. 

“Hey, we’ve got some special guests in the house, besides all of you, of course,” Ryan announces. 

Jamie’s looking over at Emily while she’s shaking her head no and Maggie is laughing. Quickly, Nash and Ian are dragging out Mags and Ems while Ryan’s still talking. 

“We’ve got some guest musicians here tonite all the way from our hometown of Nashville. How’s about a warm welcome for our girls, Maggie & Emily!!!”

Nash is dragging Emily towards the drum stand and Jamie scoots back to leave room for Emily on the stool yet. She shakes her head at him and then holds out a hand. Grinning up at her, Jamie hands over the sticks. 

“Watch out, Follese. Imma show you how it’s done.”

“Yeah, they’ll fire me any day now.”

She arranges herself in front and Jamie leans over grabbing the tambourine. Jamie watches as Ryan points at Emily and she raises the sticks up over her head counting out a beat. And then there she is. He’s known for years that she can practically play anything put in front of her for more than two seconds and her arms are hammering along and her toe is tapping the bass in time. He can barely remember to tap the tambourine on his knee. 

Nash is sneaking back to take a picture of them and for like ten seconds it feels like it used to when they were practicing for no one but each other, just jamming to jam. 

And then the ginger thug is off snapping a pic of Mags and Eman sharing a mic looking like two fucking supermodels. 

When RK crooks a finger at Nash, Jamie shakes his head. Subtle, dickheads, he thinks. Real subtle. 

Like a heart attack. 

If everyone on the fucking twittersphere didn’t know who was with who by the end of the night he’d eat every one of Nash’s shoes....with salt, of course. (Nash's pink rock salt, naturally. - J, adding her two cents) 

They’re covering an N’Sync song that he’s sure there’s a vid of Cady Groves lip synching to on their bus and he can hear Emily’s laugh when Ryan stalks Nash across the stage singing to him. 

“You’re the one I want....you’re the one I need....what can I do?”

They finish out the song and there’s thundering applause when Ryan thanks their guest stars. Emily is off with a kiss to his cheek. And he touches his fingers there where his face is a little red and smiles. Twirling his sticks, he waits for Ryan to give the go, and then they’re playing again. 

Every beat, he thinks, he’s one step closer to getting back to her. 

One...Two...Three...

****

They’re tucked up tight in Jamie’s bunk. She’d laid across the way until she’d stared him down enough and he shook his head crooking his finger at her. 

He talks low about something or other and she wants to concentrate on what he’s saying but she’s too busy running her hand up and down his arm. She’d watched him hammer the shit out of the drums all night, muscles flexing this way and that and then the way he’d lightly tapped the cymbals with the gentlest caress. 

His thumb is rubbing lightly against her breast bone and she should maybe wonder if it’s too much but they’ve been doing this for years, hadn’t they, in one way or another. 

But she’s in this amazing circle of Jamie, his arms, his chest against her back, his mouth at her ear, and she’s melting slowly. 

“When are your finals over?”

She blinks, coming out of the fog. 

“What? Um, in a month. Why?”

He doesn’t say anything then. Tilting her head to the side, she can feel their cheeks slide together, he’s that close. 

“I was just maybe wondering if you didn’t have anything going on cause I know how busy your schedule is and shit that if maybe you’d wanna see if you had time to-”

“Holy cow, Jamie, spit it out.”

“Fly-out-and-stay-with-us-for-a-few-days.”

He says it so fast that she can barely understand what he’s saying until it hits her and she turns around so she can see him, see his eyes. 

“Stay with you? Just you, you mean, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles. 

“Lemme see what I can do, but yeah, I wanna be here with you.”

“What if we don’t stay on the bus?”

She swallows hard. Mostly because she knows Jamie and she knows that he’s the furthest thing from straightforward when it comes to what he wants and the fact that maybe even a little bit is her, her heart races with it. 

“That’d be okay with me.”

She kisses him then because the look on his face is something she can’t deal with. Because she knows what they’re planning on, what he’s thinking and what her mind is screaming for and she knows part of it just lust but there’s hearts tangled up in the middle of this bunk too...or they’re starting to. 

***

They wander out to the stage before everyone is cleaning all the shit up and Em has to leave in like an hour and it’s gonna be at least another month or more before they can see each other and it almost already feels like she’s gone, but she’s leading him, their index fingers locked, the only place they’re touching, and he follows. 

He sits behind her on the stool, resting his hands on her thighs as she taps lightly on the rims of the drums, and talks into her ear. 

“You already know how to play.”

“So?”

“So what’re we doin’ out here?”

She scoots back, pressing her back into his chest, and kisses his jaw. “Sayin’ bye.”

Then, Jamie wraps his arms around her waist. His chest feels tight and there’s a knot in the middle of his throat. 

“We’ll call and we’ll text and...”

“It won’t be the same as having you here,” Jamie finishes. 

“Oh, Jamie,” Emily whispers, bringing her hand up and cradling his jaw. “It won’t. No, it won’t.”

“Turn around. C’mere.” 

She’s drops the sticks to the floor, turns, and sits on his legs again, facing him, and wraps her arms around his neck. “I’m gonna miss you, too. So much.”

Time fast-forwards quickly as she says good-bye to the rest of the guys. Jamie only lets go long enough for her to hug everyone and to help shoulder her bag as he walks her out to the car. They drag their feet and neither of them say a word because there’s just too much to say and not enough time. 

They get to her car, her beemer, and she sniffs. He looks over and there’s tears running down her face. 

“Ems,” he croaks out and then grabs her up. 

“It’s stupid,” she says, laughing almost. “It’s so stupid. I mean I’ve liked you forever and it’s not like you’re going off to war or anything but having you and leaving you hurts almost as much not having you.”

“Shit,” Jamie whispers, letting her slide down his chest, so he can kiss her. His thumbs are wet from wiping the tears off her cheeks, but all he feels is the steady thud of his heart and their lips together. “I didn’t know, I didn’t think...”

“Well, you’re dumb,” Emily says. “You’re a guy.”

“Em -”

“Shut up. I can’t deal with you being too nice. Say something smart ass.”

Their foreheads are together, his hands still on her face, and he shakes his head slightly. “I can’t. Not now.”

“Come on, Follese’. Say something stupid so I can climb back in that car and drive two hours without crying the whole way there.”

“I’d go with you if I could.”

“You are trying to kill me.”

Jamie opens his eyes and looks down at her. “Wipe your face off.”

“What?” she asks, eyes fluttering open. 

Jamie takes his shirt sleeves, wiping the tears off of her face, and whispers ‘good?’ and she says good back and he feels a little better. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he holds the screen out at arms length, checks the picture to make sure they’re in it and whispers, ‘kiss me’. 

And she does. 

***

SMS to Emmms: I miss you. 

Sms to JAMS: You more, boo. 

SMS to Emms: I’m not actually Chris Brown or Nash either. 

SMS to JAMS: HAHAH! You’re so funny. But srsly, I miss u. 

SMS to Emms: Two weeks?

SMS to JAMS: U know it!

SMS to Emms: What’re u wearing?

SMS to Jams: Nothing. Nudity is perf acceptable at UCLA. SRSLY? Did Nash steal ur phone?

SMS to Emms: Noooooooo. ;)

SMS to JAMS: Perv. I kinda like it. 

***

It’s four-thirty in the morning when her phone rings. Groaning, she pulls it out from under her pillow, sees who it’s from and answers. 

“Jamie? You okay?”

She can barely hear for all the noise in the background. She smiles as she slides into her flip-flops and makes her way out of the room. 

“Emmmmms?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

She closes the door to her dorm room. She was really going to look into living off-campus next year. 

“I missss you.”

She giggles while leaning back on the wall. “I misss you, too! Where are y’all? On the bus?”

“Hang on, Imma walk into the lounge.” 

She listens as people greet Jamie up and down the bus and then she hears him scream “Oh MY GOD!” and slams the door. 

“Jamie? What is it? Are you okay?”

“Gimme a sec.”

She waits impatiently while he must be finding somewhere else quieter. 

“ _Oh my god_ ,” he whispers. 

“What happened?”

“Something I won’t ever be able to unsee.”

“Bad?”

“The worst.”

She slides down the wall, worried now. “Jamie, really, what?”

“ _Fuck_.”

“It can’t be that bad. You’ve been on tour with the guys forever. So, I’m sure it’s not something you haven’t -”

“Emily,” Jamie interrupts. “Trust me when I say I’ve never seen that before. I’ll give you a hint: It was Ryan and Nash. Now figure out the rest.”

“Oh. _Ohhhhhh_ ,” she replies and then promptly bursts into laughter. “Don’t they know how to lock a door?”

“Evidently. Not.”

She could hear the disgust in his voice and she knows it’s not because it’s Ryan and Nash together it’s more about catching his brother and Nash up to …. whatever. 

“Well, I imagine it’s hard -”

“You did not just say hard.”

She laughs again, about dropping her phone before she props it up between her chin and shoulder. 

“What I meant to say was that I bet it’s … difficult to find some alone time.”

“Speaking of, that’s why I was calling.”

“Yeah?” 

Now she feels breathless. 

The thought of being alone-alone with Jamie right now was just what the doctor ordered. Finals were done, everything was packed and ready to go back home....so she could turn around and fly out to Nashville to be with him. 

The silence literally hummed between them. 

“Trey has to pick you up because we’re gonna have soundcheck and … he’ll drop you off at the hotel to get ready or whatever you wanna do.”

“I just want my alone time with you.”

“Emmms,” he says, groaning out her name. 

“Let’s just get some sleep...”

“Now?”

“Yeah, go crawl in your bunk, Follese. I’ll be there before you know it.”

“Can’t fucking wait.”

“I got a kiss or three waiting for you.”

“I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Sweet dreams, Jamie.”

She hangs up and holds the phone over her heart. She can’t wait either. 

***

Things were all fucked up, Jamie thinks. The flight was late and he’d had to miss seeing her before the show because of fucking soundcheck and then it was all family and everyone else that he only got to give her a quick hug and a pretty fucking PC kiss in front of everyone in the green room and then onstage. 

He had to wait till the damn mid set break to get his hands on her waist, her mouth, and even then people were still everywhere. 

And then it was off again, banging on the conga drums, and when the sticks almost slipped out of his hands for the tenth time, he had to press his palms against his thighs to stop that damn freight train of whatever he was thinking that made his heart ramp up when she blew a kiss at him across the stage while dancing with Harm and Skye. 

He can hear a roaring in his ears and everyone is sort of fading away sounding like the parents on _Peanuts_ when they get dragged into an after-party thing until Ryan, thankfully, sees and whistles at Nash, pointing at Emily. Nash nods back, grabbing Ems' hand from whomever she had been politely listening to. Ryan’s on the phone, calling who the fuck knows, and pushing them down the stairs. 

Trey pulls up in Ryan’s white Audi and Jamie turns to look at Ryan.

“I can’t, RK, I really can’t –“

“Yeah, you can. Go. Have fun.”

“But what about everyone –“

“Emily,” Nash says, “Take your guy and go.”

“Hell yeah.”

She’s crawling behind the driver’s seat and Nash shoves gently at Jamie till he’s in the passenger’s seat. Cam’s tossing Jamie’s bag to Nash, who deftly catches it, and tosses it in the backseat, closes the door, and pats his hand twice on the roof.

“Go, Emily!”

He laughs when she peels out and there is no way Jamie is going to look in the rearview to check out RK’s look on his face.

Nope.

He’ll deal with that later. Or pay for it. Either or. 

***

There’s little room for nerves when they’re finally at the hotel with the door locked and the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. Bags hit the floor and then they’re reaching for each other. They don’t care if the lights are on, if there’s a mint on the pillow and Emily kisses her way up Jamie’s jaw as she toes out of her heels and unbuttons his shirt all at once. His hands aren’t still neither as he’s unzipping her dress at the back, hands sliding inside, and she groans slightly at the feel of his hands on her skin. 

“You. Are. Not. Wearing a bra.”

She laughs into his mouth. “Kinda didn’t need one.”

“Shit,” Jamie says. 

She pushes his shirt off at the shoulders, walking him backwards, and finally her dress drops to the floor, and they’re on the bed. 

This, like everything else with Jamie, is fun…until the smiles turn into something else altogether and his hands are perfectly rough and feel so good. 

They wake up a few hours later, devour pizza from room service, and then the plates accidentally fall off when she dives for him again, and when they’re dropping off again, he pulls her close. 

“This has to be the best night of my life, Emily.”

She can hear how tired he is but there’s something else, too.

“Me, too, Jams.”

She wakes up when she feels him kissing her shoulder, running his fingers over them, and she smiles into her pillow. 

“You’re insatiable.”

“Big, fancy ass college words.”

“Pretty sure you know what insatiable means, Follese.”

“Naw, I just bang the drums and twirl the sticks. I leave the thinking to Nash and RK.”

She turns around, tilting her chin out, kissing him. “Whatever.”

The sun is starting to come up but the sky is still dark. “We gotta go here in a bit.”

“I know. But not yet we don’t.”

She’s pulling his head down, driving them both crazy once more. Only this time things aren’t that frenzied and it’s slow and she touches every bit of him that she’s dreamt about these last weeks. And when he’s looking down at her, eyes locked, she almost can’t look right at him. It makes her heart hurt. 

“Don’t,” he whispers. 

“I won’t.”

So she locks her gaze on his blue eyes until it really really is too much and arches her neck when he collapses and breathes in her ear. 

“Shit,” he says. “That’s so much better than waffles.”

She can’t help but laugh because that’s Jamie Follese right there. Lying on top of her, saying something so ridiculous during one of the hottest moments of her life. 

“Yeah, it was good for me, too, babe.” 

And well, she can’t help but smack him on the ass and then shove him off so she can get to the shower first. 

And when she hears the shower curtain peel back, she shakes her head. 

“Who showed you how to pick a lock?”

“Chord obviously.”

***

Jamie wraps Ems in a towel and raises an eyebrow when she winces for a second as she stretches. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Just muscles I haven’t used in awhile,” she replies, winking. 

He just watches when she dips down and puts her hair up in a towel. Women were pretty fascinating to watch, he thinks, and no one more than Emily. 

“How long?”

She looks at him in the mirror while pulling the complimentary toothbrush out. He furrows his brow when she shrugs. He grabs a towel and puts it around his waist, waiting for her to finish up. She turns, smiling at him again and he stands just looking. No make up, just a towel covering her up, and he’s gutted all over again. 

“What?”

“You,” he replies walking forward. He just acts without thinking as he picks her up, his hand behind her knees and the other arm at her back, cradling her. 

“Follese, what are you doing?”

“You said you were sore.”

“I didn’t mean you had to carry me.”

He stops just outside of the bathroom and looks down into her eyes. “You kinda make me wanna take care of you.”

“What?”

She’s breathing funny and her eyes are wide and all he can think is just how fucking gorgeous she really is. 

“I said I wanna take care of you.”

“I heard you. I can take care of myself.”

“Ems, it doesn’t make you any less whatever if I take care of you.”

“I know that,” she replies, sticking out her lip, petulantly.

He helps her back into her clothes and it’s not that she’s sick or anything but it’s almost as hot helping her back into her clothes as it was to help her out of them. 

“I wish we had more time.”

“I’d need to go to the hospital for a week if we had more time.”

He laughs, pulling her in and kissing the top of her head. “Not what I meant, perv.”

“Who’s the perv here? You’re the one that crawled in the shower with me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re always grabbing my ass.”

Just then she whips his towel off and grabs again. “That ass?”

“Ems…” he growls out.

So an hour later he’s helping her back into her clothes again and they’re rushing around trying to get everything thrown back into their bags and zipping through traffic to make it to take the car back to Ryan at his apartment. 

***

Somehow they get the whole bus to themselves that weekend and Emily’s rented car is outside and it’s just them for 48 hours and they’ve got the door locked all weekend only coming up for air to eat and rehydrate. 

It's Monday morning and Emily knows she's gotta git and go see her family. There’s less tears this time as she climbs into her rental car but it’s quiet and so less them, but she knows she’s got one of his hoodies tucked into the bottom of her bag and it smells just like him and it’ll help on those long nights coming up when he won’t be there to make things better or when she needs a hug from him. 

Stopping in the drive, she puts the car in park. Her phone buzzes. 

SMS to Emmmms: Best weekend everrrrrr. 

Smiling, she thumbs out an answer and walks into the house. 

SMS to JAMS: So far. ;)

***

Emily’s leaning back against her pillow, laptop in the vee of her bent legs, and Jamie’s face is in front of her on Skype. 

“Are you listening to Ed Sheeran?”

[[Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love](http://youtu.be/j8cADX87-2I)] (if y'all haven't seen this video, just go ahead and watch it now, he's amazing, and you're welcome. <3)

“Yeah,” he replies. He’s sitting exactly the same way she is and she smiles softly, touching the outline of his hair on the screen. “You know that I can see it when you do that?”

“Duh.”

Sometimes she wants to say that she loves him, but she just can’t, not yet. She’s done everything in the world to show Jamie Follese that she loves him, but she can’t be the one who has to do everything first.

She was the first to say how she felt otherwise they’d be stalled in the friend zone.

She had kissed him first.

She had reached for him that night in the hotel.

She was the first to empty out a drawer and half of her closet in her apartment – now off-campus thank you very much. 

There was shameless and then there was just plain sad. 

So, here they were stalled again, but she takes what she can get where Jamie’s concerned. He’s worth all of the heartache and loneliness. Plus, it’s not like she doesn’t have a life. She does. It’s just with Jamie she forgets the world outside and gets caught up in those blue eyes and when he wraps her up in those arms of his… Yeah, forget it. 

“You tired?”

“It’s three a.m. Most normal people are tired, Jamie.”

“Yeah,” he replies. “We’re not normal though.”

She laughs under her breath and only nods in reply. 

“You’re quiet.”

“Just thinking,” she replies. 

“You got a big paper due?”

“Nope. All done.”

“What’s today?”

“Thursday. Why?”

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “I thought saying I love you should be like a special occasion and it doesn’t seem right to say it on a Thursday at three a.m….but I do. Love you.”

She sticks out her bottom lip and her chin juts out, too, to keep from crying and she turns to the side, not able to look at him. 

“Beezy, c’mon, look at me.”

She shakes her head, wiping the tears off with the cuffs of her hoodie. Breathing hard, she blows the air from her lungs out past her lips, just concentrating on reigning everything back in. When she looks back at the screen, there is Jamie’s hand…obviously touching her ‘face’, her ‘hair’. 

“You gonna say it, too?”

“Jam-“ her voice breaks. She coughs, clearing out the tears, and starts again. “You know I do.”

“Then, say it, wouldja. Feelin’ kinda stupid here.”

She laughs this time because that right there…yeah, that’s her guy. “I love you, Jamie.”

“I love you, too.”

“You already said that.”

“I love you’s should never go unanswered I’ve heard.”

“No,” she whispers. “No, they shouldn’t.”

“I love you,” she says, grinning more this time.

“God, don’t wear it out.”

He laughs while she giggles. “I love you, too, Ems.”

She pulls the laptop towards her face and kisses the screen with a big smack. 

His face on her pillow where she’s put her laptop is the last thing she sees before dropping off to sleep to the sound of Ed Sheeran singing and Jamie’s soft breathing.


End file.
